he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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