the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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