Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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