My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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