Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
