thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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