Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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