I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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