Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
