No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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