You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
