I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
