saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
