Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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