So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
