dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
