They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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