You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
