I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
