Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
