he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize