This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize