I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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