Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
