I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
