I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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