reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
