thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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