she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
