help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
