Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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