Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
