this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
