Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I love having hate sex.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
