how do flat chested girls get laid?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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