strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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