Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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