There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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