she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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