i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
