Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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