I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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