I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just pynch a tree in the face
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I love you. Go after that dick
Panties = found
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