worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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