omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
