the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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