just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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