At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i believe in u and ur pee
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
