i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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