If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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