I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize