its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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