Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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