for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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