My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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