You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
this hospital has no fireball
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
