i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
