Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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