Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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