To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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