Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
