Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
