So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
