Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
