So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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