I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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