I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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