then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
